Viva Buenos
May 9, 2007


Today was a day that we reserved for the museums of Buenos Aires. Not all of them, obviously. But we had decided on two: the
Malba and the Museum of Architecture. Nothing wrong with getting a bit of culture while in a big city (though I keep telling myself
that it’s the food, wine and shopping in Buenos Aires that are the
real ways to experience culture out here).

On our way out to the Malba, we came across a park. I think we have found the hub of dog-walkers in this neighborhood. They all
seemed to convene here with their fifteen different dogs that they had in tow. The sounds coming from here were like listening to a
doggie symphony. Music to my ears (as long as I didn’t have to
live within earshot of it). I saw an English Sheepdog from far away
and told Natalie and Lauren that I had to go into the park. They were a bit turned off by the smell of doggie droppings but that
wouldn’t stop me. I think the dogs liked the sight of a human as they all came running up to me. Talk about a piece of doggie
heaven. Then I looked the other way and saw an English Bulldog in the distance. I had to go see him. Unfortunately, he had more of
a fascination with two different pitbulls’ butts than he did with me. Oh well. We had to go anyway. We needed to go get cultured.

We got to the museum and had to wait about ten minutes before our culture would begin (as we would find out that the museum
opens at 12:00pm). While this museum has a variety of Latin American artists, there is actually a David LaChapelle exhibit there
right now. I never realized how many celebrities he has worked with. There were photographs of Angelina, Leonardo, Drew, Pamela
and Madonna – just to name a few. There was also a room with music videos that he has done that were playing – from Christina
Aguilera’s ‘Dirty’ to Gwen and Eve doing the ‘If I Was a Rich Girl’ video. There were other photographs that he has done. I
personally loved his rendition of ‘The Last Supper’. Amazing. While some of the subjects of his pictures are a bit…um…sexually
explicit, the colors and subjects are done so perfectly that you almost forget that you are staring for a while at a picture called
‘Cunnilingus Rex’ (if a person used their imagination as to what this might be a picture of, they would more than likely be dead-on).

There were other paintings and modern art at the museum that I also took a liking to. The museum a perfect size and was in a
great building. In my book, it got a big thumbs-up.

Next up: The Museum of Architecture. We would find out after walking right past where it should have been that this was not
really in existence. A bit of a bummer but I was over it. This meant we could go across the street to the Patio Bullrich mall and do a
bit of shopping. I was able to buy the leather clutch that I saw at Prüne the other day. To me, this was a bit better than a museum.


We just got back from dinner and drinks. Fun times. Fun times, indeed.

We went to dinner and had an adorable waiter – Guido. His name didn’t really fit him as he did not seem like the ‘Guido’ type. We
asked him about where a fun place to go tomorrow night would be to go dancing. He told us a place called ‘Club 69’. Hmmm… I
thought it sounded a bit dirty – and I told him so. I also asked him about Tierra Santa (the Jesus theme park). He gave it a thumbs-
down. But that would make sense that he wasn’t feeling the Jesus love if he is recommending a place called Club 69. I made a
suggestion to Lauren and Natalie – we go to see Jesus get resurrected in the morning and then cap the night off at Club 69. I think I
might have convinced them. I will have to wait and see. I really, really want to go to the Holy Land and see what it would look like
to watch Jesus rise. Natalie and Lauren think it is very odd to hear a Jewish girl saying this.

I was actually a bit bummed when we went to leave that we didn’t get to give him a ‘beso’ good-bye. But then it was almost as if he
had heard me because he came back to us with some besos. What a great guy.

We then headed back to the same bar where we started off the night. Yes, we started the night off with some drinks before dinner
(isn’t that what everybody does out here???). The bar was closing so we left. Now we’re home. I was concerned on our walk that I
left my Bolivian-chic alpaca scarf at the restaurant. Then I realized it was in my purse – part of the problems with having such a
large bag. Oh well. The good news is that the alpaca lives on. Bless his little soul. Or at least his wool…

May 10, 2007


I don’t know think anybody else is awake yet except for me. I just had breakfast. There was another guy having breakfast at the
table, too. I was reading. I kept feeling like he was staring at me. It was really weird. Because I felt like he was staring, I had to go
out of my way to not look up. Eye contact would have been way too uncomfortable especially since I am tired and I am in no mood
to small-talk with strangers early in the morning. Hmmm… Maybe this is very non-B&B of me.


More shopping was on the agenda today. I finally found my black strappy shoes. Major accomplishment. I also bought a way-too-
cute tank top with an English Bulldog on it. Love it!

And that would sum up pretty much my entire day. Funny how time flies by when walking into boutique after boutique…


Oh my God. What a crazy night. I can’t even write about it right now. I need to go to bed. Will write more tomorrow…

May 11, 2007


Before I go on about last night, I just need to put it out there that I really want to go to the Jesus theme park today and I have a big
hunch that Lauren is going to be down for the count. I am definitely going to have to rally her to see Jesus. Hmmm. Not sure if this
is going to work.

And now for the reason why Lauren might very well miss out on seeing Jesus resurrecting…

We went to Sucre for dinner last night – way cool atmosphere. You get to walk across a semi-catwalk through the bar and the wall
of alcohols. Have no idea where the restaurant really was. But who needs to when there are taxis? From there we headed to Bar
Uriarte. We asked our waitress about Club 69 (the place Guido told us about last night). She went to get the location for last night.
Hmmm… Clearly this was a place that moved around.

We got to the venue. It would be an understatement to say that a person wearing the clothes and earrings I was wearing was a bit
out of place at ‘Club 69’. But I don’t own clothes at the moment for places called ‘Club 69’ so there wasn’t another option. (The only
good thing about this was that when we got there, I forgot what I was wearing and was only reminded towards the end of the night
when I got a glimpse of myself in the bathroom).

It felt like we were at some sort of a version of an Argentinean rave. It was probably just a club. But it definitely felt more
underground than that...

We got there around 2am. We were greeted by guys without shirts on with some garb on them that I can’t even begin to describe.
All I can remember is that all costumes and props were in fluorescent colors. There was a stage and a large woman who looked
exactly like Mimi from The Drew Carey Show was up there dancing with barely any clothes on. Then there was a table with a pole
in the center that was moving across the dance floor. Mimi was now doing pole dances. Something most people don’t really have to
be witnesses to.

Starting at Minute #2 while we were there, Natalie was offered some E. These offers became even more frequent as the night went

While I wasn’t extremely excited to go into the place when our taxi first dropped us off, I have to say that it was
much more fun
than I was expecting to have. It might have been the dancers on stage. It definitely had to do with the music (electronica versions of
‘SexyBack’, ‘Like a Virgin’ and ‘Gold Digger’, to name a few). Even then, I could only take a couple hours of this.

Lauren was totally trashed when we got home. She took a shower at 5am in hopes that it will make her feel better today (we have
yet to see if that will be the case). She assured me last night in her drunken state that we were still going to see Jesus today. It’s
just a hunch – but I don’t know if Lauren is going to have her Christ experience today…


I can’t believe it! Lauren made it to the Jesus theme park!

Okay. So the place is actually called Tierra Santa. But I just don’t think that has quite the same ring to it. But that’s not important.
The important thing is that we made it there.

We were in the Holy Land. There were camels. There were wise men. There was a mosque. The staff was dressed like Middle
Eastern peasants. There was hummus, falafel and baklava. There was a Holy Land sweets stand. There were Middle Eastern
empanadas (after all, this
is a South American Holy Land). And, of course, there was the main man – J.C.

It’s a good thing that I am Jewish or else I would be going to hell. It’s a sure thing that that is where Lauren and Natalie are going.
Sucks for them. (Of course I don’t think I am doing much to maintain a good standing as a Jew – first eating pork last night; now
visiting Jesus.)

Let’s just say if a person could ever get kicked out of the Jesus theme park, it would have been me. I was just being friendly and all.
I didn’t have any bad intentions. But I’m not sure if most people who go there kiss Jesus’ hand or give Jesus a hug. Personally, I
think he appreciated the affection.

We went and got to witness The Last Supper. I couldn’t catch most of their conversation since it was in Spanish. This was quite a
change from David LaChapelle’s updated take on it that we saw a few days ago.  

We waited around for the resurrection as it is supposed to happen at 15 and 45 after every hour. Jesus flaked on us. We waited
until 25 after. Because we ran out of things to do in the Holy Land, we decided to leave before the 45 after viewing.

One of my favorite things I saw there didn’t have anything to do with the theme park, per se. It had to do with a visitor. A little
three-year old. They had cardboard figures with cut-out heads where you stand stick your head into to take pictures. Lauren,
Natalie and I all had our moment with these. Then it was time for the little guy to go in and have his mom take his picture. While his
dad was holding him up, he starts yelling out in that oh-so-cute little boy voice “Am I Jesus? Am I Jesus?” I wish the moment was
captured somehow. I can still hear him saying it in my head. Makes me laugh every time…


We made a new friend at dinner tonight. David from Toronto. He only arrived a couple days ago. We told him he has to add the
Jesus theme park to his itinerary while he’s out here. I think he was really appreciating these suggestions. I mean to think that
some people leave Buenos Aires without experiencing this. Sad, really. What a waste to be all the way out here and not experience
the world’s first theme park dedicated to Jesus and all of the little Middle Eastern animals (sheep, camels, etc.). But we enlightened
David and I am sure he is grateful for this.

Once the bars had closed up, we found a club with 80s music that was just a block away. At this point David parted ways from us.
The plan is to meet up tomorrow at an ice cream place that Lauren wants to try (after all, it
is officially ‘All About Lauren’ time
since she leaves tomorrow night). We told David where it is so there is a chance we will meet up there and then all head out to the
horsey races from there. I’m already singing ‘Camptown races Camptown ladies sing this song… Do-da. Do-da…’ in my head.
Back to Argentina.
Meeting Jesus at Tierra Santa.
Inside the Malba museum.
Before our tango show.